by okkervil river, my mood!
Also, "for real"... kind of sad, desparation for real feeling and real love.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE I'm just starting to see how the world really does run on Love. Or unLove. or the hate of Love. hate of self who needs Love. Hate..... so close to Love.
Ah, what a pleasant mediation this 9/11!!
kind of emotional chat w/ my montreal friend last night. I am in a fog. that happens, I guess. But it hurts me that, I'm so done with it, yet I'm in a fog. this morning with Rem i made straight eye contact with 2 cuties, like dead on in the face, and there was this smile "I like u beautiful" sub text. And it comes so naturally to me now. Les yeux qui cherchent... as estella says.
I'm going 90 mph. And then I look around me, and i am still sharing an apt. with my best friend who sleeps in the other room, and I'm 30, and I so want to love, and be inspired by my lover, and be challenged, and feel unburdened by him.
and then I feel stuck... just the physical challenge of moving 4 years of life in this apt. But I think the first step is the hardest.
Phil is at a bike race today.
Friday is his b' day. Sunday is Jon's.
Yesterday chez Simone, ladies fest, turned therapy, elsa is stuck too, and I spend so much time thinking people's lives are so much cleaner and perfect.
a bit distracted today. will have more to share later. xo bisous
