Friday.
well well well.
I can pause for a second to speak from my heart, or try to. I'm simultaneously gchatting and blogging and jezebelling and my old work email-stalking. hello, internet.
Week of business, worked at 3 different places, including flute teaching today + getting paid to sit there or walk around because 4th grade flutists are forgetful re: their instrument or lesson. Plus there was an assembly.
I had to drive to amherst + get a textbook from an important guy who i need to handshake and be on the ball when I see. Because he will potentially give me a job next week. Now I just have to muster up enough desire to do well on the demo lesson. I wish I could just focus on the goal of employment + not get too weighed down by the what ifs + whys + what thes.
more later.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
barfday
hey! contrary to the spirit of my blog post title, I'm really feeling the birthday glee, am even wearing a cute little dress and american apparel tights and Ked's mary janes.
Lately, the current of the change really felt... Like as much as things stay the same, things really do change.
July 2006: I become a mom of 2 kitties + they bring instant joy to my life.
Sept 2006: I start a Masters program and I have alot of direction, am also enjoying TAing French.
Oct. 3 2007: anniversary of getting 2gether with Rem.
June 2008: We get a matching heart tat
July 2008: I spent 1 month in Toulouse with Rem. We live in kind of squalor in an apt. with no windows but we are in love.
Sept 2008: Remy comes on tourist visa to live with me until Dec.
Nov 2008: passed Masters
Jan 2009: Remy starts anew at UMass on student visa (moves in with me, I guess "officially")
Feb 2009: My dad retires + has nice big retirement party
June 2009: I go for all kinds of jobs in boston and elsewhere and get jobs, reject jobs cuz I don't want to leave Valley.
July 2009: I spent some 2 weeks in France + have a little bit less fun this time.
Sept 2009: I start teaching french at West side, also teaching music at arts school.
July 2010: I enjoy 1 month living by myself while Remy is in France, and he gets appendicitis + is in the hospital briefly. I become friends with nik + Sarah. Critical thinking of where my life + relationship are headed.
August 2010: see the time markers become less crisp the closer they are to the present
Anyway. It's just like little markers of time don't feel significant as they are happening. But then in retrospect, you see that, whether you knew it or not, you experienced something resembling a life, a progression of events that culminate in living.
This fact has come into focus because sometimes we regret moving in together as soon as we did. But then, as it happened, it was so unceremonious and seems like a natural progression. Yet we couldn't really grasp the symbolism of the event and how it would affect our lives in a larger sense.
Like, yesterday we were awoken at 7:30 to the sound of Barry's hired tree team cutting down a beautiful willow tree in the backyard. Just man dominating nature with our chainsaws and trucks. As we look into the void of what was our backyard, we are mourning this stable force that has co--existed with us - and with the property - for thirty years. This beautiful tree, it gave me shade, it was so rooted posing no danger to anyone. I would love looking up and seeing flocks of birds singing and hanging out. And Barry with his brutish obsession of his property, thinking that his money is his power. We are fucking depressed about it. It's just like, here is an unwelcome marker of time - probably like anyone's death. This apartment that I have so loved for the past 3 some odd years, seeing that tree come down and being helpless to stop it, I felt like I entered the last chapter of my life living here. Feeling like I've outgrown it, even though if I could I would love to have a few months in it the way I started it - living here alone. It's in discussion, like wherever we are headed we sort of feel that we owe to ourselves a period of solitary living, especially if marriage or whatever is at the other side. Wanting to establish the ceremoniousness of moving in together the right way this time.
Friday morning - intense rainy commute - my windshield wiper decides to break off. I thankfully was able to pull over in a parking lot and consider my options. i ultimately walked to an auto parts store, bought a wiper blade and after plenty of hemming + hawing I tried to put the sucker on myself, and I succeeded! It was pretty cool, even though the whole thing took over an hour + a half to resolve, it worked out (I even still worked) and I learned a new skill.
x x x voila c'est tout pour l'instant.
Lately, the current of the change really felt... Like as much as things stay the same, things really do change.
July 2006: I become a mom of 2 kitties + they bring instant joy to my life.
Sept 2006: I start a Masters program and I have alot of direction, am also enjoying TAing French.
Oct. 3 2007: anniversary of getting 2gether with Rem.
June 2008: We get a matching heart tat
July 2008: I spent 1 month in Toulouse with Rem. We live in kind of squalor in an apt. with no windows but we are in love.
Sept 2008: Remy comes on tourist visa to live with me until Dec.
Nov 2008: passed Masters
Jan 2009: Remy starts anew at UMass on student visa (moves in with me, I guess "officially")
Feb 2009: My dad retires + has nice big retirement party
June 2009: I go for all kinds of jobs in boston and elsewhere and get jobs, reject jobs cuz I don't want to leave Valley.
July 2009: I spent some 2 weeks in France + have a little bit less fun this time.
Sept 2009: I start teaching french at West side, also teaching music at arts school.
July 2010: I enjoy 1 month living by myself while Remy is in France, and he gets appendicitis + is in the hospital briefly. I become friends with nik + Sarah. Critical thinking of where my life + relationship are headed.
August 2010: see the time markers become less crisp the closer they are to the present
Anyway. It's just like little markers of time don't feel significant as they are happening. But then in retrospect, you see that, whether you knew it or not, you experienced something resembling a life, a progression of events that culminate in living.
This fact has come into focus because sometimes we regret moving in together as soon as we did. But then, as it happened, it was so unceremonious and seems like a natural progression. Yet we couldn't really grasp the symbolism of the event and how it would affect our lives in a larger sense.
Like, yesterday we were awoken at 7:30 to the sound of Barry's hired tree team cutting down a beautiful willow tree in the backyard. Just man dominating nature with our chainsaws and trucks. As we look into the void of what was our backyard, we are mourning this stable force that has co--existed with us - and with the property - for thirty years. This beautiful tree, it gave me shade, it was so rooted posing no danger to anyone. I would love looking up and seeing flocks of birds singing and hanging out. And Barry with his brutish obsession of his property, thinking that his money is his power. We are fucking depressed about it. It's just like, here is an unwelcome marker of time - probably like anyone's death. This apartment that I have so loved for the past 3 some odd years, seeing that tree come down and being helpless to stop it, I felt like I entered the last chapter of my life living here. Feeling like I've outgrown it, even though if I could I would love to have a few months in it the way I started it - living here alone. It's in discussion, like wherever we are headed we sort of feel that we owe to ourselves a period of solitary living, especially if marriage or whatever is at the other side. Wanting to establish the ceremoniousness of moving in together the right way this time.
Friday morning - intense rainy commute - my windshield wiper decides to break off. I thankfully was able to pull over in a parking lot and consider my options. i ultimately walked to an auto parts store, bought a wiper blade and after plenty of hemming + hawing I tried to put the sucker on myself, and I succeeded! It was pretty cool, even though the whole thing took over an hour + a half to resolve, it worked out (I even still worked) and I learned a new skill.
x x x voila c'est tout pour l'instant.
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