jazz

well hello...

a little weekly update for my loyal fans. it is sunday night, I have the sunday vibe, latina music is on the radio, and R is preparing sushi (well WE are, but now I'm bloggin). we had a little burst of energy this afternoon at the international market looking for sushi fixins. I also cracked open a little champagne, I'm sure there is something out there that needs celebrating.

this weekend has been un-weekendly, well I was awoken early by my landlord's loud fricking voice outside my window, and I worked both days. R came to get me after work y'day + we had a sampler (4 half pints) of locally brewed beer at NBC. yummy. (you're probably noticing the trend of having no other friends besides each other) yeah. well we do like hangin out together so thats fortunate. We just survey the crowd and categorize people into two groups: people getting laid tonight, people not getting laid and analyze our research. I guess that is 'boring couple' of us, but whatev.

Part of the reason I started this blog is because I always knew my inner monologue is a bit incoherent & lacking clear transitions. Mental health wise, I know therapists say that depression starts to resemble this: lack of sentences, paragraphs, in the inner existence. Just static doldrum. So I'm trying to be my own antidepressant lately, which requires alot of introspection. Part of this so-called looking inward has me noticing how I have like no boundaires up for myself. For example, when my phone rings + its my mom I generally always answer it. Like I anticipate that she will have some lisa news, or else I have the classic "what if she's in an emergency" or what have you. So I pick up. and I am realizing that for my own mental sanity I need to be able to say "no" to the barrage of phone calls. Like, there should be times where I am in the middle of growing as a twenty-something, and can't answer the phone. I'd like to take a survey of how often you talk to your mom on the phone, because my average is about every other fricking day. Back in college I remember I instinctually told my mom to stop calling so much. Looking back, I'm really proud I was so in touch with my needs. I knew I was in a state of constant growth + I needed emotional space. Now I feel like I let anyone into that space, like any time is a good time to disturb me.

Same thing with email. Like I generally have my computer open, and if gmail tells me I have a new message I will generally stop what I am doing to go online. Some saturdays + sundays, I'm like, I know no one is emailing me, but I can't say no to the internet. I wish I could say "Any email messages I may have can wait". Once upon a time, when the internet was new, all I knew how to do online was email! and I think I would spend 5 mins online because I didn't know what other sites to visit. And its quite boring to sit + wait for an email to appear. You may as well go live your life...

x x x voila c'est tout. Demain I'm gonna play cupid un peu pour mon amie Katie. c'est cool, j'aime bien faire ca. ce mec est gentil, je l'ai rencontre une fois, et voila j'espere que c pas trop chiant.