cut off

 hello, I am at the canadian border at the moment enjoying wifi and will write you a message. 

I have been thinking about if "gratitude" actually fucking works. I even google something like "do gratitude lists really fucking work" because every time I read an article about why I am depressed and what I am doing that needs fixing, they mention "gratitude". I will ease up on the drama, but I have felt a bit anxious/ blue/ sensitive/ irritable the past few weeks. 

I truly am grateful for a suitcase I bought from Dakine. it is so roomy, has different compartments, and isn't like cumbersome like a typical suitcase. It rolled easily in between the rows of this amtrak train today. It was somewhat expensive but a fabulous investment.

I am grateful for this amazing dog I have. Sometimes he makes me feel sad because I love him beyond words and the love is paired with the knowledge that his life will be shorter than mine. I also feel like he is sad or depressed sometimes but doesn't know how to tell me. 

I love the new name tag and collar that i got him yesterday (the collar is like punk rocky with spikes, and the name tag has some blue swarovski crystals)

I am grateful to my job. As much anxiety is causes me sometimes, now that the summer is here it's clear what gifts it has brought me. I am able to live in a central location in the hudson valley with no bills or rent, there is serious vacation time, the students are amazing, I am given so much freedom as a teacher to build my classes in the way I want, I am able to seek professional development to stay fresh and energized, and most pressing, I will likely be moving into a gorgeous apartment (fingers crossed) far from students, private, I won't tell you any more so as to not jinx it. When I see that my hard work is valued, that my presence is vital to the community, I feel very rewarded, in both a spiritual and tactile sense.

Still at the border, so let me drum up some more gratitude. Why the hell not, bloody "gratitude" preachers! My dad drove me to the train station today and took my dog to babysit. I am grateful to have them so close to me, and we can be in each other's lives more regularly. Something to cherish. Blah blah blah... now off to watch the canadian countryside. 

XO